Carry On
by justlisten-dreamland
Summary: Kurt couldn't help but wonder why Blaine decided to sing 'Cough Syrup' in the auditorium that day...TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide. Please don't read this if it's going to trigger you.


"_One more spoon of cough syrup now, whoa….."_

Kurt sat in the silence that followed Blaine's performance and he couldn't help but wonder why Blaine seemed so emotionally attached to the song….

"Blaine, is there something you want to talk about?" Blaine, as though waking from a dream, snapped his head up to look at Kurt. It almost seemed as though he had forgotten Kurt was even there. "What?" he asked. "Is there something you wanted to talk about?" Kurt asked again, positive that there had been a secret meaning to the song now. "Oh it's nothing, it's not important…" Blaine replied trailing off. So, Kurt waited, knowing that there was an end to that sentence and that Blaine would talk when he was ready. "It's just…." He trailed off again and returned to his pacing.

Finally, he looked up "Kurt, you know how I never talk about my family?" He nodded; he had always assumed it was because Blaine's parents hadn't reacted well to his sexuality. "You know about Coop, but I haven't told you about my sister…my baby sister….Margaret. She's just a few years younger than me and she's just… just the best sister in the world-" "Why don't you talk about her? Or your family? What does this have to do with the song?" Kurt interrupted, questions spewing from his mouth. He couldn't help it he just found out his boyfriend had another sibling, he was curious.

Blaine let out a sigh, "Look I don't want to talk about this here, okay? Why don't we go to Breadstix and we can talk about it over dinner" "Okay let's go" Kurt said already on his feet heading towards the parking lot and his car. "I'll meet you there" Blaine called after him "I just have to talk to a teacher real quick, okay?" Kurt paused at the door, "Alright, I'll see you there..." He shot Blaine one last concerned look before heading out the door.

Blaine kneeled down on the floor and put his head in his hands, letting out a yell of frustration. Why had he performed that song, he knew Kurt would ask questions and it was always so hard to talk about Mar. Why couldn't he have just let Kurt think the song had been about himself? He sighed; he knew though that it was time to tell Kurt about Mar, and he didn't want Kurt to think he was ashamed of her. He loved his baby sister, but talking about some of their memories was hard, he knew though it was time to tell Kurt. It was time to stop pretending the past hadn't happened.

So, Blaine picked himself up and he carried on.

Kurt was anxious, he had already been waiting at Breadstix for twenty minutes and if one more waitress came over and told him he had been stood up he was going to demand to speak with the manager. Just as he saw another waitress head towards him, Blaine walked in. Kurt waved him over and shot an arrogant look at the waitress who looked shocked to see someone join him. "Sorry! I ran into Mr. Schue as I was leaving and he wouldn't stop pestering me about Regionals and how we hadn't picked music yet and blah,blah,blah" " It's okay" Kurt said laughing at the irritated look on Blaine's face as he described the "never-ending" conversation.

After, a very sheepish waitress came and took their order Kurt turned to Blaine and said "Okay, star talking" Blaine laughed at Kurt's bluntness but it sounded hollow, and he began telling his story.

"It all started after I came out to my parents, they were all supportive or at least I thought they all were at the time. My dad wasn't happy about it but, I had thought he was going to try. I remember I had told my parents first, and then Coop, Mar was the last one I needed to tell…."

_Mar was sitting in her room reading when she heard a knock on her door, but it wasn't just any knock. She and her brother had a secret code. He would knock (a secret knock) and then she would say "Who dares to seek permission to enter the realm of Mar?" He would reply "The bravest of knights has traversed far and wide to see his favorite and only sister" but, tonight when she called out to him he only replied "Mar, its serious can I come in?"She stood up to let him in "Of course, what's going on?" Blaine walked over and sat down on her bed and motioned for her to sit too. "Mar, I just finished talking with Mom, Dad, and Coop and there's something I need to tell you" She nodded "I don't want this to change your opinion of me and I hope that you will understand and be supportive" Blaine continued. "Okay, so what is it?" She asked. Blaine took a deep breath "I'm Gay". He squeezed his eyes shut like he was waiting for her to start yelling at him he opened them again when he heard a quiet "so?" He blinked "What?" "Blaine, I don't care if your gay, straight, or a purple dinosaur you're still the same person. All this means is that I can talk to you about boys now!" She said squealing the last bit and throwing her arms around him in a big hug._

"_You're too young to think about boys!" "No I'm not I'm twelve!" _

"….She was by far the most supportive in my family" Blaine said as he finished the story "She lost that argument though because there was no way I was talking about boys with my baby sister". "She sounds fantastic" Kurt said, as their food arrived "But, I'm still confused". "She is, and I'm getting to that part" Blaine said

"Things continued to get worse with my parents as they began to realize this wasn't a phase I was going through. Cooper had had a falling out with my parents at that point because of his career choices and Mar was the only one who wasn't angry about something. Ashamed of Coop and me they only talked about Mar, when they had to bring one of us to some event, it was always Mar and I got jealous. Mar had always been so smart and talented so they loved talking about her. After the Sadie Hawkins incident and I transferred to Dalton, I only saw her on the weekends. We weren't as close as we had been; I allowed resentment and jealousy to push a wedge between on that was aided by distance. With the way our parents bragged about her, the pressure was on for her to be perfect at everything."

"Sounds hard" Kurt said, "How was she handling it?"

"She did fine with it in the beginning but, with me barely talking to her things started to build up. Cooper only called once a week, Saturday nights, and after a short conversation with her he would ask to talk to me and spend an hour helping me with the situation at home, making sure I was okay. Though she didn't show Mar was very hurt. Coop and I had ostracized her and with all the pressure our parents put on her to be perfect she started to crack."

"What happened?" Kurt was starting to see the connections to Blaine's performance earlier and he feared the worst.

"She brought home a C on her report card in Science. I had never seen my parents so disappointed, they projected all their feelings about me and Coop onto that grade, onto Mar and she was heartbroken. She sat at the kitchen table studying until 1am that night. Her health started to suffer; she gave up sleep to study and did loads of extra credit to make sure our parents wouldn't be disappointed in her. But, she got her grades back up to straight A's. Our relationship continued to suffer, as I saw all of her efforts as sucking up. I was too self- absorbed to notice how all of this was affecting her, and then one night Cooper called and he didn't talk to her for more than a minute before asking for me."

"We talked on the phone that night for two hours and if I had been listening I might have heard Mar go to her room and cry herself to sleep that night. She turned thirteen a few weeks later and no one remembered. Our parents had a gala, I was too selfish to care, and Coop wasn't there. Birthdays had never meant much to Mar but, I know it hurt her. It happened a few weeks later… She brought home a B and my parents told her 'I can't believe what a disappointment you've become'. That was a Monday and I'll never forget the following Friday…"

_Blaine got out of his car, so glad that it was Friday. He was even home early because his last teacher had been in a good mood. He unlocked the door and called out to Mar to let her know he was home when he heard a thud and some clattering in the kitchen. Putting down his backpack Blaine went to see what caused the noise. As he walked into the kitchen a bottled rolled out from behind the island, stopping at his feet. Shaking, Blaine picked up the empty bottle of Advil that had been half full this morning and walked to the other side of the island. He gasped, Mar was sitting on the floor fading in and out of consciousness " bln…blan…" she mumbled looking at him "lov…..u". Before he knew what he was doing he was on the phone calling 911 and trying to get her to throw- up. Blaine shouted at the women who answered the phone that his BABY SISTER was dying and he needed an ambulance NOW. He was crying and trying to give his address to the women on the phone, begging her to make them hurry. Soon, he could hear the sirens and see the lights, he hugged Mar, rocking her and telling her it was gonna be okay. Blaine wasn't sure what happened it was all such a blur but soon he was in the back of an ambulance with his sister on the way to the hospital, clutching her hand. "It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay, just hold on Mar, it's gonna be okay…."_


End file.
